Friday, July 5, 2013

My Heart is Broken!!

Things have been happening so fast and then again so slow.  I know I can share this with you all.  I have never met a crafter that was an uncaring person.  My life just seems to be in limbo.  I just can't find my way right now.  I just can't seem to sleep anymore or enjoy the things I once enjoyed?  In September of 2000, was the beginning of the end for me.

On September 10, 2000; I lost my very best friend.  The person I shared my life with for over 15 years of my life.  Mr. Percy Mumford, Jr. He was the first man in my life that said, Life your dream.  He truly believed in me. He was my lover, my friend, the one I could tell my secrets too.  I cannot tell you anything about his funeral.  For I don't remember it.   Then in 2005, I lost my Father.  Mr. Richard Clark, Jr.  I could not believe that he was gone.  I can remember setting in the church just watching him in the coffin.  When the lid on the coffin was closing, I can remember just looking at him until it was closed. You see, my father use to come to my moms house everyday.  I mean, everyday.  We would talk the talk.  Now that I think back to the last time I saw him alive.  He was so happy that day.  He called to me from the front of the house because I had walked to my bedroom which was in the back of my moms house.  He said, I'm gone.  I said you leaving?   He said, yes.  I see you tomorrow.  I said, okay.  Then I just stood there for some reason.  Until this day. I have never visited his grave.  I am just not ready yet.

Now that was the brick to fall in my life.  Then March, 2012; I lose my mom.  Yes, I know she was my grandmother which was my fathers mother.  But, to me.  She was my mother.  Mrs. Emily A. Perkins.  She had been in my life for over 55 years.  Whatever I know as a woman?  She gave me that.  This was the third brick to fall.

I know you all understand where I am coming from.  I just don't know which way to go anymore.  I read my bible on a daily basis.  And being a Deaconess in my church also helps me to get through this.  The three most important people in my life are gone.  I just wish that Heaven could have waited just a little longer for them.I just don't think I am ready to stand up on my own.  I have had that support system all of my life.  Now, it is gone.

Thank you all so much for allowing me to share my inner most feelings with you.  I feel better now.  Thanks for being here for me.  I truly feel that we are not only friends but a family.

Remember, Keep Living the Crafting Life.©1995